HONOURING THE SPACE BETWEEN US

Introduction

This phrase loosely describes a practice which began in 1993 in London. A group of business people, wishing to rid themselves of all possible causes of breakdown in their relationships, and seeking an environment in which to conduct their relationships more successfully, agreed to spend time together on a regular basis, with the aim of increasing the degree of trust, understanding and truthfulness between them.

Regular practice proved useful to many people and it was decided to invite the general public to meetings. Hundreds of people in several countries and many cultures have participated to date, adding their presence, observations and insights. These continue to be summarised as ëThe Story So Farí from which the following is an excerpt. The whole is a dynamic and evolving project ëprobonoí - for the good.

… There seems to be no right or wrong way to honour the space between us.

… The rules and tools which can help, seem to exist within each of us and become apparent as soon as we actually take the step to hold the space between us in honour.

… As we hold the space between us in honour we uncover our relationship with it more easily.

… Everything we need seems already to exist or will come into being.

… When we are wholly honoured and confident in our own space, we can be wholly inclusive of the whole continuum of others, whether they are dressed, for example as an executive or as a cleaner - we see the same person.

… I know what it means to honour someone or something. Sometimes Iím late for meetings, but I donít inform the other participants, and I know I dishonour the commitment between us to be there.

… Sometimes when someoneís talking to me, I get distracted and I know Iím not truly present - I canít honour the space between us if part of me is somewhere else.

… It becomes increasingly difficult to honour the space (between us) when I put so much of myself into it that I fill it up. When the space between us disappears I feel as though something inside me has died.

… Sometimes I find myself judging other people - judging what theyíre saying or the way they look, or what kind of people I think they are. I know itís absurd and I donít want to judge them because I know that dishonours them.

… In the so-called ënew ageí people are changing one set of judgements for another, and itís still not freedom for me.

… When I really get to know people deeply theyíre always more remarkable, more wonderful than I had thought.

… I will guard against trivializing what others do or say - whatever that is - for I can see that nothing is trivial. I understand that everything is crucial to this moment, because it makes this moment what it is.

… I try to honour what happens in each moment in this space, because here between us, the quality of each moment is sacred and here the future is constantly being born. Out of the genuine quality of this moment, I would rather have our future born than from any private dream or fancy.

… To hurt you is to hurt myself, as to dishonour you is to dishonour myself.

… It makes me sad, it makes me grieve, when people are not prepared to keep an open mind. When anyone says something and someone turns round and dismisses it, then we can never respect the space between us.

… When you asked me about my work I was put into a role as a function. I didnít feel dishonoured by the language, but by the shift in focus.

… This space cannot be put into words, it canít be described - there is something that is sacred. I see myself breaking the honouring of the space with every word I speak.

… To be present creates the space between us - if not, it drains out.

… To address anotherís eyes, or to address the space (between us). It feels familiar. Why is it so difficult, and itís not. I make it difficult.

… What we should all be doing...what is right for that moment.

… I can learn by doing nothing, and that is very powerful. Each moment is being stored up to take honouring the space out into the world. I am surprised and gratified.

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